I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
