i don't like sucking hair
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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