I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
