Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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