Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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