I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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