Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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