Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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