Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
