oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
