rhymes with "ouble enetration"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
