Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
