it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
