Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
