i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
