I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
