we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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