Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
