Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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