If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
