Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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