Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
