we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
