i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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