I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
