def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
