Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I want to have your abortion
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
