I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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