After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
