i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
