Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
