I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
