it hurts more in the daytime
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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