So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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