I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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