Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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