the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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