dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You work out of a Hotel?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
