So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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