if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
