You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
