Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
