it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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