I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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