so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
