I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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