I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
