Got a toothbrush?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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