He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
