He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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